It can start out as what appears to be an “honest bump” or perhaps a “joke” at school, on the college campus, off the football field, in the locker room or at camp.
The act of bullying and its effects are finally getting the national attention needed to stop this epidemic that has been around for generations. While bullying is often considered “children being children” or “a rite of passage to adulthood,” it is not. The effects of bullying can be minimal or devastating to the individual, a family, friends and the community.
The Community Relations Council (CRC) of the Jewish Alliance of Greater Rhode Island is often contacted by members of the community when Anti-Semitic slurs or bullying occur. The CRC has met with school principals to discuss and address specific instances of bullying. Other times, the CRC contacts the police or the Anti-Defamation League (ADL).
On January 9, the CRC invited Elaine Wolf, known as “the Anti-Bullying Novelist,” to speak at the Alliance. Wolf is the author of “CAMP” and “Danny’s Mom.” Both publications were originally meant to be read by young adults; however, both books are popular among parents, teachers, principals, guidance counselors and camp counselors.
Marc Ladin, a retired school principal and author of “The Playground Bully Blues,” a children’s book that deals with bullying, introduced Wolf. During his introduction, Ladin shared stories from biblical texts that addressed bullying. Ladin then referred to Wolf’s two novels and the impact they both make on this issue in our society.
Wolf, a retired special education teacher in Long Island, NY, began her presentation by saying, “We’re all trying to make our world better for our children and our children’s children.” She defined bullying as: aggressive behavior that is hurtful, intentional, threating and persistent. She went on to say, “I am totally obsessed with the bullying epidemic that plagues our society. I did not set out to be the Anti-Bullying Novelist. My mission is to continue speaking about bullying until schools and camps are a safer place for everyone.”
Wolf said that she uses her books to point out bullying in our society, particularly in our schools and at camps, where she witnessed it firsthand. Her books are used as a springboard for conversation on the subject.
“CAMP” is a coming-of-age story, Wolf’s first novel about bullying. Amy, the main character of the story, comes from a troubled, unbearable home. She is about to go to camp for her first time. Amy is subjected to a cruel and humiliating initiation followed by bullying, which is led by a senior camper.
“Danny’s Mom” begins with a fatal tragedy. Beth, a guidance counselor and the main character of the novel, recently lost her son in a car accident. Upon returning to Meadow Brook High School, she is confronted with bullying of epidemic proportions.
“I speak,” said Wolf, “for the victims of those children who took their lives because they could not bear any more bullying and were driven to suicide.”
During the presentation Wolf provided startling statics about bullying:
• 1 out of 4 teens is bullied;
• 6 out of 10 kids with special needs are bullied;
• 9 out of 10 LGBT students are harassed and bullied;
• children with food allergies are now being bullied.
She then told attendees how they can significantly help to reduce bullying:
• Never judge or blame your child even if he/she is the bully.
• Always stay calm.
• Never encourage your child to fight back.
• Contact the school or the organization where the incident(s) is (are) occurring.
• Keep a log of incidents which have occurred.
• Make anti-bullying an ongoing conversation at home.
• Assure children they can trust you and can come to you to discuss anything.
• Never be a bystander; be an “up-stander” and speak up.
• Never give bullies an audience.
• Be a friend to the person being bullied.
Elaine Wolf’s two books are available at the Jewish Alliance. “CAMP” can be purchased at a special price of $10.00 (retail price is $16.95), and “Danny’s Mom” can be purchased for $15.00 (retail price is $24.95).