Our dogs bring out the best in us

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I made a new friend last month.  Just a few minutes before, we were strangers, but it didn’t take long for us to realize that we had more in common than we expected.

I discovered that she was a Unitarian minister with a small but active congregation.  I shared that I was a rabbi with a small but active congregation.  I found out that her daughter had recently become engaged to a Jewish man who had emigrated from Russia by way of Israel.

Of course, I asked about their wedding plans. To my new friend’s chagrin, it was going to be a  “secular” wedding, officiated by a friend, with some “traditions from both sides.”

We chatted about Passover, the changes we’ve seen in religious life since the pandemic began, and what it was like to move from live services to Zoom services and then back again.

It was a lovely conversation, and it happened for one reason, and one reason only.  We met, and shared our lives, because of our dogs.  We were at the dog park on Waterman Street, in Providence, right next to the Henderson Bridge.

She had a beautiful English Setter that chased after her ball with an enthusiasm that was a marvel to behold. And I had my two dogs, Bernie, a mellow, fluffy Golden Retriever, and Nala, an alert, but shy Canaan Dog (Canaans are Israel’s native dog breed).

While the English Setter chased her ball, my two puppies, showing little to no interest in this game, waited patiently for her to return.  And while our dogs were playing together, we had an opportunity for connection.  And the most wonderful thing is that this happens all the time.

It happens at dog parks, on walking paths and in state parks.  It happens in our neighborhood, where, while walking Nala, I have met more people than would have been possible without her.  And no matter where we walk, there are always other dog owners who stop to greet us, enabling the dogs – and us – to enjoy a visit.  Even non-dog owners (we call them “dog-adjacent”) stop to admire Nala and ask about her breed.

During this unusual time, when our inclination has been to turn inward, it has been a challenge to meet new people.  But a dog, because of its need for exercise, stimulation and training, requires us to turn toward the world, to engage with others. And, more often than not, we find common ground.

All dog owners already share one important perspective – their mutual love and affection for their dog – and on that basis alone, a connection can occur.

Fortunately for us, dogs transcend religion, politics, education and all the other hot-button issues that are polarizing our society.  With our dogs, we can exchange all of their adorable idiosyncrasies, being reasonably sure that our new acquaintance will identify with our stories.  We may not have much more in common than our dogs, but at the very least we have a starting point, a place to begin.

In the Fourth Commandment, God declares that we shall keep the Sabbath holy by ensuring that “your cattle” shall do no work (Exodus 20:10).  This law teaches us that we must remember the animals who live with us, work with us, and depend on us for their well-being.  The rabbis knew that if we were kind and compassionate to the animals we lived with, then surely we would be even more compassionate to our kin and our neighbors, our fellow human beings.

But maybe the relationship between animals and human beings is not as one-sided as the rabbis imagined.  Maybe our pets – at least our dogs and our cats – help us to be our best selves; the people who stop and chat with strangers; the ones who make a fuss (and endlessly praise) for the slightest accomplishment; and the ones who, no matter what kind of day we’re having, give our dogs and cats the warm, affectionate greetings they deserve.

Just think of how different the world would be if we were as kind to our neighbors as we are to our dogs.  Or, as one of my favorite sayings suggests:  “Be the person your dog thinks you are.”

Wishing everyone a healthy, peaceful summer.  Happy walking!

HOWARD VOSS-ALTMAN is the rabbi at Temple Habonim, in Barrington.

Pets, dogs