Facing the next chapter

Graduation season brings to mind many emotions. Joy, excitement and anticipation are often coupled with worry, apprehension and feelings of loss, which sometimes accompany the transition from one life phase to another. The promise of new beginnings also signifies endings. This wide range of emotions is especially heightened for those parents whose children are graduating from college or high school.

At the Counseling Center at Jewish Family Service, this is the time of year when we receive calls from families who are experiencing a complex, tangled web of feelings connected with their children’s graduations. They are surprised by the experience of the worrisome feelings that are bound so tightly with those of pride and joy.

We try to help people recognize the normalcy of mixed emotions. We help families understand that apprehension and even grief can co-exist with feelings of delight and accomplishment. Being able to accept and hold the difficult feelings as normal enables parents to experience more deeply those emotions that are powerful and positive. Understanding the parts of the process they can control and the parts that they must let go of helps bring some peace to the process.

Change can be hard. Change can be scary. Change can be challenging. We help people understand that, by accepting what is inevitable, undergoing a transition can be fun, interesting, joyful and a gateway to new experiences and a new normal. There are few among us who welcome change with open arms, open minds and open hearts. This graduation season, we wish all the parents of new graduates joy as they celebrate their children’s accomplishments, and courage as they face the new chapter in the book of parenthood.

BETSY ALPER, LICSW is clinical director, Jewish Family Service.