Family in the age of Facebook

 Social media tsuris

Shana Maydel has moved away from the two most important women in her life – her mom and her grandma. The separation took some chutzpah and a lot of convincing. The two simply didn’t want to let her go. However, the one strong argument Shana used to persuade them was not the perfect job waiting for her in the big city, but the agreement to allow them to see her Facebook page. Luckily for us, in honor of Mother’s Day, she has shared some status updates and her family’s responses to them in the comments. Enjoy!

Don’t forget about the Jewish penicillin!

Shana Maydel: Ugh. Sick in bed. #NotAgain

Mamaleh: Would it kill you to wear a coat when you go out?

Bubbe: I’m sure it’s not as bad as the cold I had last week. Bubbe will make you some chicken soup now!

Shana Maydel: Thanks, grandma, but I have no appetite.

Bubbe: You must force yourself to eat so you can get better. I’m off to defrost the chicken!

Nothing’s worse than wasting money.

Shana Maydel:  Check out the pic of my new car!

Mamaleh: What was wrong with the old one? A fine car!

Shana Maydel: The transmission died.

Mamaleh: I told you not to buy this used dreck three years ago!

Bubbe: Your mom’s right this time, bubbeleh. It was a farkakteh purchase.

Don’t make it better. Do as I say.

Shana Maydel:  Posting my latest painting. Thoughts, suggestions?

Bubbe: What is it? I can’t tell!

Shana Maydel:  It’s abstract, grandma.

Bubbe: We’re mishpachah, so I can tell you – it’s mishmash. Paint a bunch of flowers instead.

Mamaleh: Mah, leave her alone. Honey, add some bright color. It’s too dark.

Shana Maydel: That’s the point. It’s supposed to be gloomy.

Mamaleh: Feh! I’ve already said what you should do.

Are we needy or guilty? Or both?

Shana Maydel:  Celebrating my promotion with some colleagues.

Mamaleh: Why isn’t there any food in the photos? All I see is alcohol!

Bubbe: I would have made you dinner. You haven’t called in two days…

Shana Maydel: The two of you could have said “Congratulations!”

Mamaleh:  You’re right, sweetie. It’s all my fault. I am to blame.

Bubbe: You know I’m happy for you. I don’t have to say it! And why are you at this restaurant? The one near Cousin Robin has two-for-one specials!

It’s always about grandma. Even when it’s about you.

Shana Maydel:  Waiting for my train. NYC, here I come!

Mamaleh: Don’t forget to live while you wait. And pepper spray!

Bubbe: Use the bathroom before you get on the train. You never know! Oy, how will I manage without you for a week?

Shana Maydel:  I’ll call you, grandma. Just don’t repeat our conversations to the neighbors anymore.

You want to give money? Do so quietly.

Shana Maydel: Just checked into the Hilton.

Mamaleh: Don’t forget to gather up the mini soaps and shampoos. I like to put them in dad’s gym bag.

Bubbe: If your mother needs some money to buy soap, all she has to do is ask.

Mamaleh: Mah, you should live so long.

The voiceless male.

Shana Maydel: My boyfriend’s meal always looks better than mine. Wish I knew how to order the way he does!

Mamaleh: Just switch the plates! He won’t mind if he loves you.

Shana Maydel: Actually, he did mind.  

Bubbe: How do you know? He speaks?!

It’s never about the music.

Shana Maydel: Opera, here we come!

Mamaleh: What is that shmatte you are wearing?! He can’t buy you something nice?

Shana Maydel: Mom, this is a 300-dollar dress! And I bought it myself.

Bubbe: It does look a bit baggy, bubbeleh. Who else will tell you the truth?!