Rabbi Kushner speaks about ‘Nine Essential Things I’ve Learned About Life’

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NEW BEDFORD, Mass. – On May 15, Harold S. Kushner, the prominent conservative rabbi and author of the best-selling book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People,” spoke at Tifereth Israel Congregation. 

Formerly rabbi of Temple Israel, in Natick, Massachusetts, Kushner’s book was published in 1981. It was written after the death of his son, Aaron, who was born with the rare rapid-aging genetic disorder progeria. Rabbi Kushner has written other books since then, has spoken at venues around the country and has been featured in publications such as Time magazine.

Kushner’s speech at Tifereth Israel was a complement to his newest book, “Nine Essential Things I’ve Learned About Life.” He spoke about humans’ belief in God, God’s role in human life, about his experiences as a rabbi, and about coping with and learning from the death of Aaron as a teenager.  

Some of his wise and inspirational stories, with the occasional infusion of humor, focused on living with and loving Aaron.  He told of his son’s deep-seated sense of compassion; at an age that is notorious for judging, Aaron regularly comforted his peers. This was only one of the traits that Kushner admired in Aaron, and it seems to have served as a sort of personal fuel.

“When you admire someone, and the person dies, the biggest tribute you can pay is to pick up the things that are valuable to him and see that they continue to live on,” he said.

Rabbi Kushner says he doesn’t blame God for making his son sick. Instead, he thanks God for giving him the strength and ability to love and care for him.

“If anyone said on New Year’s Day in 1963 that we would have a child with a series of health problems, I would have said, ‘God, please don’t test me. I know my limits … that will break me.’ But I think everyone here has had that experience,” he said. “Human beings – and you all know this  – human beings are stronger than they believe they can be.”

He continued on to say that the “greatest religious value in everyone’s life is the capacity for forgiveness,” and shared personal stories of preaching forgiveness. The greatest story, he said, was that of Joseph, who forgave the brothers who had sold him into slavery.

The speech was a part of the congregation’s annual Ziskind Memorial Lecture, which has brought nationally known speakers to the congregation for more than 40 years. The event was underwritten by Sheldon Friedland in memory of his wife, Shulamith Friedland, and her parents.

ARIEL BROTHMAN is a freelance writer who lives in Wrentham, Massachusetts.