Senior scams 101

Are you over 60? (It’s OK to respond in the affirmative – no one can hear you.) Do you still pay for a landline? (So predictable!) Can you save a small forest by unsubscribing to all the junk catalogs you receive? (Why haven’t you done it yet?) Are your grandkids everything to you? (Obvious question, but there’s a point to be made.) If you fit this profile, you could be a prime target for scammers.

If you have ever fallen prey to a sting, you know how infuriating it is to finally learn the truth. However, don’t get upset or angry – educate yourself instead. Those who’ve never been duped might think that they’re too smart to get caught by the scammers’ phishing hook. What they don’t know is that the scammer boasts an advanced degree in crime to keep up with the educated public. Now that information can be easily accessed on the Internet, scammers must invent new ways to appear legitimate.

To do that, they take a page out of the salespeople’s book. Crooks employ the same seemingly harmless tactics, including building excitement, creating a sense of urgency, approaching in a kind and friendly manner and being relentless. They just keep calling, don’t they? You’re a nice person, but you’re also prudent. Don’t start feeling bad for the poor telemarketer who is pressuring you to buy. More than likely, you’re dealing with a criminal who is trying to take advantage of you. When you say no, you’re not denying him bread and butter – you are protecting yourself.

Scammers are not targeting you because you are part of the chosen people. They’re after your funds, which they suspect adds up to a substantial sum.

Yes, it’s in bad taste to count someone else’s money, but that doesn’t stop these people. Feel relieved that you don’t have much to lose? Not so fast – crooks don’t know that you’re a spender and not a saver – they didn’t do research on you.

So even those who are less than well-off get scammed. Dubious? Just take a look at the figures – the older demographic is scammed to the tune of nearly $3 billion per year, according to a 2009 MetLife Mature Market Institute study.

Not sure how to tell whether the person on the other end of the line is authentic? Here’s a crash course on battling the bad guys and identifying potential scams. You should always expect the best, but be prepared for the worst, right?

Scenario #1: Internet fraud

You have observed the emergence of some telltale signs that you are no longer 25. You think to yourself, if those housewives can fake it, so can I! Swayed by vanity, you make the impulsive decision to purchase some cheap Botox online. (Who has the funds to pay retail?!)  What you don’t know, however, is that it’s a bad batch, and  by the time you learn this, you’ll be hoping for droopy skin because what’s in store will be so much worse.

Now, you obviously don’t have wrinkles, but the point remains – do not buy treatments and medicines from shady sources. In the best-case scenario, you’ll end up with a placebo; in the worst – you’ll be scarred for life. If you live, that is.

Scenario #2: Funeral/cemetery scam

You have recently lost a dear relative. In addition to mourning, planning the funeral and figuring out how to live, you now have to worry about falling victim to a scam. If you receive phone calls from individuals claiming that the deceased owed them money, don’t just pay off the stranger – remember, most likely, this person is not tactless but malicious. Demand to see written proof, such as a notarized letter.

That’s not all, unfortunately. Besides random people who probably found out about the death through a newspaper notice, beware of those who might try to profit from the expenses surrounding your tragedy.

Scenario #3: Disaster relief scam

A representative from a relief agency is contacting you regarding a donation of funds to help victims of the most recent flood/hurricane/tornado. Don’t worry about being rude or cruel when you say no. If politeness is that important to you, say no, thanks. But do refuse to play along. Donations for the latest natural disaster should not be solicited door-to-door or via a telemarketer.

If you d o wish to help, contact the charity in question or the Red Cross directly.

Scenario #4: Grandparent scam

You pick up the phone and are greeted by a friendly voice, “Grandma, guess who?!” Now, your intuition tells you that something is off – don’t your grandkids call you “Bubbe?” But you are too excited that junior called without a reminder and gleefully respond, “Benjie?!”

Now that this “grandson” has you by your heartstrings, he’ll proceed to confide in you – another first! You’ll be so thrilled about the sudden intimacy that you’ll promise not only to keep the matter of his financial crisis from his parents, but also to wire him some money right away. After all, who but grandma understands? Scammers, apparently!

Scenario #5: You’re a winner!

You receive an authentic-looking check. You have won the Peruvian lottery! Finally, all of your prayers have paid off! And you thought that you never win anything. Remember, that time when Mr. Horowitz next door won the neighborhood raffle? You were bitter and jealous. Well, now you can boast about your win to his face, the way he gloated to you all those years ago.

If these are the thoughts running through your mind, stop. Don’t kill the messenger. You didn’t win anything. It’s illegal for Americans to enter a foreign lottery. Two days after you deposit your winnings and wire the amount required to cover duties and taxes, you will receive a notification from your bank that the lucky check was counterfeit. So, don’t rub it in Mr. Horowitz’s face just yet.

These imaginary scenarios can go on indefinitely. They’re fun, but in the interest of saving the environment, here’s the bare-bones essential advice on dealing with con artists.

What not to do:

Don’t give out personal information over the phone.

Don’t be afraid to say no.

Don’t make any “good faith” payments expecting to split a large sum of money.

Don’t download any phony anti-virus programs.

Don’t respond to “phishing” emails with updates or verifications of your information.

Don’t invest in pyramid schemes.

Don’t agree to pay fees to reassess your property value.

Don’t expect a free house in exchange for your property title.

Don’t pay for trinkets to enter a contest.

Don’t reveal your credit card verification code.

Don’t allow anyone to bully you.

Don’t forget – there’s no such thing as a free lunch.

Don’t be a stranger to the Do Not Call Registry. Call 888-382-1222 or log onto donotcall.gov to register your phone number.

Don’t forget to edit the mail you receive by logging onto the Direct Marketing Association site, dmachoice.org. Choose to stop receiving mail from an entire category or from specific companies.

Do consult the following resources:

Federal Trade Commission: ftc.gov, 202-326-2222

AARP Foundation ElderWatch: aarp.org/aarp-foundation/our-work/income/elderwatch, 877-434-7598

National Consumers League: nclnet.org, 202-835-3323

RI Office of the Attorney General, 150 South Main St., Providence. The Consumer Protection Unit. Consumers@riag.ri.gov or 401-274-4400.

IRINA MISSIURO is a writer and editorial consultant for The Jewish Voice.