A day of connecting, learning and enjoying

Southern New England Conference for Jewish Women

Tichyeh Schochet, Judaic principal at NEAT, speaks at her workshop on “Singing In The Rain.” /Photos | E. BreslerPROVIDENCE – Deborah Kutenplon was excited to participate in the ninth annual Southern New England Conference for Jewish Women at Brown Hillel that took place on Jan. 18. “I’m here for inspiration. It’s a great chance to see all these Jewish women from all walks of life.” Shana and Diane Newman made the occasion into a mother-daughter outing. Diane was proud of Shana’s involvement in the community and happy with her daughter’s insistence on introducing her to its many members. Shana has gone to most of the conferences, saying she sees them as “a way for all women to come together, learn and elevate spiritually.” Rona Trachtenberg was thankful to her friend who reminded her about the event; otherwise she would have been devastated to have missed it. She said, “I have been attending these women’s Kollel seminars for many years, and I am so grateful for each pearl of wisdom I have learned. I look forward to the annual educational insights, the female camaraderie and the excellent lunch.” An out-of-state attendee, she sees the Providence Kollel as “an oasis of Yiddishkeit and Kol ha-kavod.”

About 120 women attended the conference. Tichyeh Schochet, Judaic Studies principal at New England Academy of Torah, said that this year was “one of the largest signups in the past nine years.” Invited by the women’s division of the Providence Community Kollel, the participants gathered to study, converse and reflect on fundamental issues in their lives. The attendees collaborated with presenters through workshops, lectures and exercises to pinpoint their interests and concerns. The day’s sessions fell into five categories: Body & Soul (Zakah Glaser), Plumbing the Depths (Marsha Gibber and Tichyeh Schochet), Outlets (Janice Kaiden and Jordana Weisman), Entertaining with a Flair (Amy Schwartz Kellog) and Significant Traditions (Elissa Felder and Elisheva Bielory). In addition to the lessons and the company, the women enjoyed a gourmet kosher lunch and a dessert reception.

Zakah Glaser, certified nutrition, wellness and weight management consultant, and associate director of SOVEYA, kicked off the program with a motivational speech that served as the theme for the day. Her message: find sweetness in life’s challenges, “little telegrams from God,” and withstand these ordeals with a positive attitude. During a session titled “Singing in the Rain,” Schochet reiterated that idea when she spoke about David, the powerful and charismatic king whose life was full of adversity. She said, “Everything is your perspective. What kind of eyes you’re looking out of tremendously affects your behavior.”

Glaser suggested that the women take comfort in the knowledge that they are not the only ones facing difficulties. She compared life to an EKG machine, saying that it’s supposed to go up and down. To sustain hope that the challenge will ultimately end, Glaser promoted the idea of documenting the solutions to prior challenges to remind yourself that you will survive. “I’m a big fan of tracking your successes.” 

She advocated using hardship to help reach your potential by building on strengths and working on weaknesses. “We are supposed to use these opportunities to grow,” Glaser said. Schochet agreed, referring to the time David made a mistake but knew to apologize for it. “The soul can grow from being yelled at for doing the wrong thing.” Glaser implied that God presents us with challenges to give us a chance to develop trust in Him. Schochet also stated that a total rootedness in God eases hardship. She said, “Everything happens according to a schedule. We feel a sense of comfort that we’re not writing the script. We’re handling things to the best of our ability.”

Glaser addressed two kinds of challenges – internal and external. To show how she battled the former, Glaser talked about her troublesome relationship with food. When she realized that she was not going to get anywhere until she had the assistance of some other power source, she asked God to help her help herself. Glaser was successful in part due to the kindness of others, who assisted her in her quest. She said, “God has messengers, and we need to utilize them.” Glaser said we’re not meant to handle challenges alone. Discussing David’s failure to rely on God at one point and, therefore, to succeed, Schochet also emphasized the crucial role God plays in our lives. “Passing a challenge is a miracle. You cannot pass it on your own. Unless God gets involved, it’s not going to happen.” To address the external challenge, Glaser spoke about her son’s malignant tumor diagnosis. The family was able to withstand the test from God with the help of kind people and with insistence on looking for the good everywhere. No matter what happened, they counted their blessings.

Both Glaser and Schochet told the attendees not to worry about the ability to handle life’s tests because God gives every person the power to reach their potential. Schochet said, “The harder Hashem pulls my strings, the more He reminds me He’s there, and the stronger my connection is with Him.” During “Eyes on Yoga,” as women contorted their bodies into the trying poses, Janice Kaiden, the instructor, echoed the sentiment. The teacher eased minds and limbs when she said, “If it doesn’t feel OK, don’t do it. Everybody’s different. There’s no competition at all.” The women relaxed. Instead of worrying, they focused on smiling and breathing.

The day’s presenters conveyed that the secret weapon at our disposal is the knowledge that God is rooting for us. In times of trouble, we can call out to Him with a prayer, and He will come to our aid – whether to house us near a hospital, as in Glaser’s case, or to “squeeze the toxins out of our kishkas,” as in the yoga class. According to Glaser, trusting in God is a reward in itself. The foundation for this trust is the understanding that everything He does is good. Barbara Klein, one of the yoga students, underscored that idea when, at the end of the yoga class, she said, “I spent three months in physical therapy that could have been avoided had I known to keep everything aligned.”

IRINA MISSIURO is a writer and editorial consultant for The Jewish Voice.