Bar and bat mitzvah projects are personal and fulfilling

Rhode Island kids get into the habit of tikkun olam

/Courtesy | Elice FamilyIt’s amazing what you will find if you type “mitzvah project” into a search engine. Numerous sites offering various ideas invite teens to click the buttons. Are you into sports? Well, we’ve got a perfect one for you, then! More of an artist? Musician? Computer whiz? No worries – plenty of tzedakah initiatives to choose from. It’s akin to a buffet, one that beckons with a slew of dishes designed to appeal to every taste. The preteen is limited only by appetite. However, why not leave the restaurant altogether and teach your child how to fish, as the saying goes?

Recommend to your child that he build the mitzvah project out of the pieces that reflect not only worthy causes, but also those that are meaningful to him. Specifically, instead of suggesting cookie-cutter projects, lead your child to broad concepts, which he could then mold into his own venture. After all, the more invested the person is in the endeavor, the more chances he has for success.

Since most synagogues require children to complete a mitzvah project, the students’ enthusiasm for the cause stems mostly from their personalization. While fulfilling the requirement, many realize how valuable their service is and appreciate having signed up for the challenge. By the end of their project, kids are wholly devoted; they’re not simply checking off a box.

Jillian Bresofsky collaborated on a mitzvah project with her twin sister Sarah. Asked about the criteria for choosing the project, Jillian says, “Do what you’re going to be excited about. It won’t be over after your bat mitzvah.” Sarah adds, “It doesn’t have to be a chore.” The girls, longtime tennis players, organized and participated in a fundraiser tennis match against two teachers at Nathan Bishop Middle School in Providence. Spectators donated money and canned goods to the Rhode Island Food Bank. The sisters, who also sold baked goods at the event, raised $140 and collected 50 cans. They plan to hold another tournament next year.

Gabe Insler wanted to work with a cause that was dear to him. His mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2013, and Insler chose to focus on a project that helps those in his predicament. He’s currently writing and illustrating a children’s book on the subject. Insler says it’s been an emotional experience, but he is carrying on because his personal story might make it easier for others to cope with adversity.

Spiritual leaders often guide children in their quest to customize a mitzvah project. Rabbi Barry Dolinger, of Congregation Beth Sholom, personalizes the experience for every child. He says, “Based on the notion that each soul is different, I usually work with a student and his or her family to craft a project that best meets the desires of that child, and let them do most of the work in making it happen (after all, that’s what responsibility is all about!).” 

Similarly, Temple Am David requires the kids to design and implement personal tzedakah projects that are later approved by a spiritual leader. Rabbi Richard Perlman reminisces, “One thing that stands out as a wonderful memory among many was when one student, Cory Charness, collected money to send fans to the Sarah Herzog Children’s Center – Afula. We brought his donation during a temple trip to Israel on his behalf and that meeting developed a wonderful relationship with Temple Am David, our entire community and ultimately ended in bringing the Emunotes to Rhode Island.”

Rabbi Sarah Mack, of Temple Beth-El, elaborates on the congregation’s refusal to proscribe the project, which the students choose themselves. She says, “I think that the Mitzvah Mania program is one that successfully teaches our b’naimitzvah students that part of being a member of the adult Jewish community involves tikkun olam. Through the process, they also learn that it is not always a straight path to finding the way to meaningfully contribute their time and resources. That is also part of the journey – to find their individual passions and skills and then use these gifts to give back.”

When Dora Elice was beginning to explore the details of her upcoming bat mitzvah, the project she chose was obvious to her from the start. Elice is focusing on breast cancer awareness because her grandmother, great aunt and a friend’s mother have all survived the disease. She says, “I want to help people feel better after their diagnosis.” So far, she has organized “MBe Pink,” a fundraising and awareness day at Moses Brown School. It includes such concepts as “Pink Out,” or donating money to wear pink to school, a Pink Bake Sale and a T-shirt Elice designed. All funds will benefit the Gloria Gemma Breast Cancer Resource Foundation.

In addition, Elice organized a team of 15 to walk in the foundation’s Flames of Hope Run/Walk series on Oct. 12, raising $4,600. Elice says, “It’s important to make a personal impact.” Because of her connection to the cause, she keeps finding ways to stay involved. Her mother, Shari Elice, says, “We didn’t realize the extent to which she’d mobilize the community.” Her school was so inspired by her efforts that it will continue the endeavor, making the fundraiser an annual event.

Upon completion of their mitzvah project, kids are often surprised by how much they benefited from the experience. Many feel they’ve grown, become more morally responsible. Observing themselves within the context of poverty, illness and age, they begin to appreciate their status in society, the extent of their abilities. Menucha Krinsky, who engaged in a learning project focusing on humanity’s creation through one person, interviewed Holocaust survivors about their experiences. She says, “I have to remember that I am very lucky to be living in a time where something like the Holocaust is not around.”

Children finally comprehend what it means to “make the world a better place.” Previously, when they heard the phrase, it was merely something people said about doing something nice for someone else. Now, the expression takes on a new meaning – they witness firsthand the effect their tzedakah has on those who are not as fortunate; they comprehend the hugeness of their commitment to tikkun olam and to Torah.

Jonathan Rosenzweig, who taught string instruments to underprivileged kids as part of Community MusicWorks’ orchestra program, says that he was glad to be able to connect with and be respected by the students. “I learned that any time I spend volunteering, it is highly appreciated. I have something to give and make a difference in their lives.”

Ethan Goodman, who worked at Mount Hope Day Care Center, helping teachers with the transition after the childrens’ rest time, was hoping to mirror Noah since his Torah portion was about Noah’s Ark. Like Noah, a role model to the Jews, Ethan tried to be a leader to the kids. He says, “Working on the project made me realize that kids do have a lot of needs, and that my parents weren’t being dramatic about what it takes to raise them.” His mother, Jodi Goodman, adds, “I think he imagined that it would be all fun and not ‘work’ and learned something about himself and the largeness of making commitments. He came away feeling that his contribution was significant and valued.”

After completing the project, these preteens will go on to make a difference, despite not having a requirement. They’ve understood that mitzvah is a way of life, an entire mindset – not an individual act that satisfies a need. Rosenzweig was surprised at the change within himself. “At the beginning, I was only planning on spending my time during the mitzvah project volunteering, but by the end of the year, I am planning and looking forward to spending time helping them during the winter weekly,” he says.

Krinsky says that she was very nervous at first because she was afraid of feeling sad. However, after listening to one woman’s tale, she became motivated to learn more. “Most of the people with these amazing stories are dying; there aren’t many stories that are left. That is why I wanted to learn about this, so I could pass on the stories and tell my children one day. I don’t want these amazing stories to never be heard again.”

The bar and bat mitzvah students realize that they changed not only someone else’s life, but also their own. From now on, they are bound to the knowledge that they are capable of contributing on an ongoing basis – whether they’ll advocating for someone’s rights, donating their time or inspiring others – living according to Torah is for the rest of their lives.

Rabbi Jeffrey Goldwasser, of Temple Sinai, says, “I have seen students derive great meaning and satisfaction from collecting some used sporting equipment for kids who don’t have any. I have seen students organize a schoolwide day of action that educates hundreds of people and raises thousands of dollars. The important thing to me is that the experience is linked to Torah – that students learn that this is what it means to be a Jew.”

IRINA MISSIURO is a writer and editorial consultant for The Jewish Voice.