Coping with Caregiving: Sara’s Story

Sara’s Story

“My mother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease three years ago. At first she was determined to beat the disease and remain independent, but unfortunately, the disease has taken over her life and now mine.

I have moved her into my home to make the responsibilities of caregiving easier, but with each passing day, I feel it is harder and harder for me to keep up with her needs. I am exhausted trying to keep up with her care, the needs of my family and my job. I have little patience at home, my job performance is suffering, and I barely have time to even sleep.”

Caregiving Facts

Sara is one of the 65 million caregivers of older relatives in the U.S. She, like over 37 million caregivers, continues to work while assuming these additional responsibilities for a loved one. Nearly half of caregivers have children under the age of 18 and more than 40% have their own chronic health conditions that require ongoing medical care. Additionally, the stress of family caregiving increases the risk of infectious and chronic diseases.

Tapping into Services

So, how will Sara do it all? First, she will try and achieve greater balance in managing her responsibilities. Realizing that she cannot deal with all of these responsibilities on her own will open the door to other resources that help her ease the caregiving burden. Case management or care coordination are valuable services that can assist in making referrals for and setting up transportation, additional inhome services, financial resource counseling, and access to private or public benefits.

Caring for the Caregiver

It is just as important for Sara to take care of her own needs as it is to care for her loved one. Joining a caregiver support group is an invaluable opportunity to share similar experiences and feelings with others who are in similar situations. While it is always a challenge to take precious time away from her many other responsibilities, in the long run it is well worth the effort.

It is also necessary for Sara to take time to look after her own health. Eating well and getting adequate rest and exercise will help her maintain a sense of humor to get through the difficult times. Accepting help from others and not being afraid or ashamed to ask others for help will be important for Sara.

Focusing on the Rewards

The additional time that Sara spends with her mother in the caregiving role also brings opportunities to talk with her about things, some important and others not so important. This will create a greater intimacy in their relationship. Sara will think about the good times that she has shared with her mother and how she feels about having her mother in her life. New memories will be created through the caregiving experience.

Keeping the Faith

Sara can look for solace through meditation or prayer. She can talk with her rabbi or spiritual leader. She may find that sharing any spiritual doubts can transform her perspective. She can use her faith to help cope with difficulties along the way.

Sara will experience both personal and spiritual growth through her experience with her mother that will enable her to better plan for her own future care needs.

Erin Gisherman Minior is a licensed clinical social worker and the CEO of Jewish Family Service of Rhode Island.