Don’t overlook our need to connect during those long cold winter days

When I lived in Los Angeles one of my rabbi’s favorite parables was “It Could Always Be Worse.” In the story a family lives in a small home and feels miserable and cramped in the confines of their home. The rabbi tells them to bring their farm animals inside the home. The family follows his advice, only to find their lives even more chaotic and miserable than before. In desperation they return to beg him for more ideas to make their living situation tolerable and he tells them to take the animals back out. They do so and find their home is spacious, quiet and wholly new to them after their experience. The home is the same size it was before, but their perception is greatly changed.

I’m reminded of this parable each winter when I’m stuck inside with my toddler especially on Sunday and especially between the hours of 3 p.m. and 6 p.m. Sundays in the winter are a cramped house filled with small animals and this winter I am going to take the rabbi’s advice, and I am going to bring more animals (toddlers) in. This was an idea I had last year and failed to execute on because I made it too complicated and tried to vibe code my own sign-up system.

Not this year. This year I’m sending out an email in early January (this is my public announcement, so I have to do it!) with times and dates for friends with kids to sign up. I’m going to use SignUpGenius because I have experience with it from the front end and it is delightfully simple in a 1990s internet kind of way. I’m putting two slots per Sunday from 3-6 p.m. and whoever signs up can come over, the adults can hang out while the children play and I’ll feed the kids mac and cheese before they head home for bedtime.

I’m not planning activities because honestly what is the point? If kids want to do activities they will ask, like the other week when I tried to get my daughter involved in a coloring project only to be derailed into making her a dinosaur mask that she wore for the next hour. Her plan was better, the dinosaur mask was a lot of fun to make, and it played to her strengths (gluing) better than my idea had. Also, I find the most frequent thing kids enjoy doing in my house is jumping on the beds in my daughter’s room and screaming.

Much is made in the winter months of staying physically active and I get that. What we so often overlook is that after the crush of holiday events January through March is often devoid of opportunities to gather. While it is vital to exercise our physical selves, it is just as vital to exercise our social selves, to be connected with one another.

We’ve passed the shortest day of the year and the light will slowly return over the coming cold months, but instead of counting down the days until Spring (or instead of only counting down the days until spring) I am going to flex my hosting skills in a low-lift way to make something that I want in my life – more time with friends, something fun for my kid to do and a break in the monotony of winter. I’m going to open the door and let the goats (toddlers) in. I’m going to fill my apartment with noise so that when everyone leaves, we are tired, connected and ready for a new week. Sure, it could always be worse, but this year I think it could always be better too.

A Crowded Farmhouse Folktale: https://www.jewishbookcouncil.org/book/a-crowded-farmhouse-folktale#:~:text=It's%20impossible%20to%20read%20too,laughs%20as%20the%20story%20proceeds.

Schedule your own get togethers: https://www.signupgenius.com/

SARAH GREENLEAF (sgreenleaf@jewishallianceri.org) is the digital marketing manager for the Jewish Alliance of Greater Rhode Island and writes for Jewish Rhode Island.