Seder memories

Kelly Metzger shares her experience

With Passover – the holiday of remembering – approaching, the Voice thought it’d be interesting to chat with someone about the first Seder experience and the holiday in general. Who better to ask than an adult who remembers her first Passover celebration well?  Kelly Metzger, a past participant of the Mothers Circle – a resource to women of other religious backgrounds raising Jewish children – graciously agreed to answer some questions.

What motivated you to study Judaism and to learn about the holidays?

I wanted to participate, not just observe.

Describe the first Seder you attended.

My first Seder was at my husband’s aunt’s house. She always hosts. I was really nervous ahead of time and, being, a librarian, did a lot of reading about Passover and the Seder ahead of time. 

I was surprised by how relaxed the Seder atmosphere was. My family explained that, when there were children involved, they were much more observant about the various parts of the Seder but, as adults, they followed an abridged version. There were clearly traditions that had been established over time.

I was quite moved and fascinated by the symbolism, and Passover continues to be my favorite of the Jewish holidays.

What haggadah do you use?

The one used most often by my family was published by Maxwell House in the 1960s, I believe. 

Passover is one of the holidays that involves children in the celebration. How did you get them ready for all the rituals associated with the holiday? How did they do?

My daughter is only two, so she has not really been involved. However, we have been reading Passover books to her since she was born. I created a Passover plate with Velcro to attach the various items on the plate, and she likes to play with that. Zoe also knows “Dayenu,” so last year she was able to sing a little when we came to that in the Seder.

What was your husband’s reaction to your pursuit? What part does he play in the holiday celebration?

My husband is very supportive of my Jewish studies. In the past, he has also given up hametz with me.

Have you ever been “a stranger” or have you ever invited “strangers” to your Seders? If so, how did it go? Did the experience enrich you in any way?

Last year I attended my first nonfamily Seder. It was wonderful because the hosts have children, so I was able to see how children can participate. I also found the different approach to the Seder interesting (i.e., seeing which parts they chose to abridge, the songs sung, etc.).

Can you suggest any good afikomen hiding places?

Somewhere that matches whatever the afikomen is wrapped in. My aunt taped it to a lampshade one year, and we didn’t find it for ages because it was in a paper towel the same color. Very clever!

Which aspect of the Passover tradition do you most enjoy?

I enjoy the meal itself: reading the story and celebrating the freedom the Jews achieved.

What was your most memorable Seder?

My most memorable Seder was definitely the one I attended at our friends’ home because it was the one with the children participating.

IRINA MISSIURO is a writer and editorial consultant for The Jewish Voice.