Something is lost when something is gained

I have always liked Joni Mitchell’s song “Both Sides Now.” It reminds me of a story from when I was a young mother.

My bubbe and zayde owned two three-family houses in Providence. My grandparents lived on the second floor of the front house. My Aunt Frances and her family lived on the first floor of the back house, and we lived on the third floor of the back house.

Having my bubbe next door meant my brother, my cousins and I could see her every day.  The thought of this prompts many happy memories.  However, Bubbe’s first language was Yiddish. Although I was surrounded by people who spoke Yiddish, I never took to the language.  Whenever Bubbe talked to me in Yiddish, I would say, “Bubbe, in English!”

When I was eight, we moved to Pawtucket. My Aunt Frances went to work and my cousins were in the care of Bubbe after school and sometimes on the weekends.  My cousin Marilyn lived next door to our bubbe until she married.

Marilyn and I had our first child within two months of each other.  One day, I decided to take Bubbe, Marilyn and the babies out for the day. As we were driving, Bubbe was talking. Marilyn quickly answered her in English. I then said, “Marilyn, what did Bubbe say?”  It was at that very moment that I understood what I had lost.

Years later, Marilyn took a job in a nursing home in Providence. Many of the residents were Jewish and Yiddish was their first language. Marilyn was very popular and immensely loved by the residents. Not only could she understand what they were saying, she could also speak Yiddish.

MAY-RONNY ZEIDMAN is the executive director of the Sandra Bornstein Holocaust Education Resource Center, in Providence.