The Decorative Hat

Browsing in one of my favorite local gift shops the other day, I lingered at the Alex and Ani counter. Studying the charms was like gazing at the paintings in a museum or perusing books in a library. Why were they created? What was their significance?

Today, I spotted one charm in particular, and I knew immediately that I must have it. To the unfamiliar, it was simply a hat, a decorative one with a feather, but a hat nevertheless. To me, it was a potent symbol of my mother –our family hero. I asked the clerk if I might see the explanatory card that came with the charm:

The decorative hat

Pride – Tradition – Distinction

“A social accessory traditionally worn at female gatherings, the decorative hat represents an individual looking and being at one’s best. Distinctively adorned hats are bold pieces that symbolize an outgoing nature and a proud heart. Channel the energy of the Decorative Hat Charm as a symbol of empowerment.”

Born in New York at the beginning of the 20th century, my mother suffered from polio as a young girl. Her spirit undaunted, she learned to ride a horse. She played Rachmaninoff on the piano and read the poetry of Byron, Keats and Browning. With stubborn determination, she attended Columbia University as one of a handful of women in the School of Pharmacy and enjoyed a successful career well into her 70s. She studied Hebrew at Yeshiva University. She loved music and the theatre and attended performances regularly. She was a strong woman.

I still have one photograph of my mother in full riding gear atop a horse. I have one of her at work at our local pharmacy. But I have dozens of pictures of my mom in hats. It is the hats that everyone in the family remembers. “Why do you think Nanny always wore a hat?” asked one of my children recently. I said I didn’t know, but the query made me wonder. Did she yearn for a life more elegant than the one she had? Was she masking an appearance about which she was always self-conscious? I’m not sure, but I am sure that the decorative hat and my mother are one. I treasure the memory.