What’s a Father to do when it comes to planning a wedding?

Here begins your “Fiddler on the Roof” experience. The little girl you carried has turned overnight into a beautiful sunflower. She’s engaged to a nice man, a good man, true love. He’s promised she’ll be happy, and now it’s time to plan the wedding. Father knows best, right?

By the time you’re a father of the bride, you know your way around a checkbook. A survivor who has persevered through family vacations to Disneyworld (ka-ching). You’ve weathered the bat mitzvah celebration (ka-ching). And, withstood high school prom night (ka-ching). You’ve scaled the highest peak of all – college tuition (ka-ching and double ka-ching).

But now it’s the big enchilada, a Jewish wedding. Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Swiftly flow the … ka-ching.

It’s not about the money everyone tells you. It’s your only daughter, your wife reminds you.  Don’t you want to give your loving daughter the wedding of her dreams? Of course you do. But, how can you help? There must be many ways for the father of the bride to make a meaningful contribution to planning his daughter’s wedding. Right? Of course, right.

How about planning the wedding meal? Good place to start. Big ticket item.  Everyone knows good food. All you have to do is hire the right caterer. You’ve eaten in a thousand restaurants.  Food is food. So what does it matter if everyone has an opinion about the food, especially the bride, the groom, the mothers.  There are allergies and preferences to deal with; shouldn’t be a problem.

If you think a canapé is what you stand under in case it rains during the wedding ceremony, you might be the father of the bride. If you think a charger is what goes between a wall’s electrical outlet and your iSomething, then you definitely might be the father of the bride.

Maybe catering isn’t the right responsibility. How about the wedding gown? Another big ticket item. Just the place for a father’s perspective on value.

If you think Kleinfeld’s is a N.Y. kosher deli, you might be the father of the bride. If you think tuile (pronounced tool) is something you learned to use in a high school woodshop, then you definitely might be the father of the bride.

This wedding planning is getting tougher than I thought. Time to step up your game. Not much else left to plan though. Just a couple of little things like invitations, photography, videography, table flowers, linens, chuppa flowers, chair styles, wedding party flowers, color scheme, ceremony music, reception music, dinner and dancing music, rehearsal dinner, after party, out-of-town guest accommodations and maybe a few other little things.

Starting to feel like a fiddler on the roof? Maybe wedding planning is a little more difficult (and dangerous) than I thought.

Mama Mia (sorry, not living in that play). So, I’m still looking for my role in planning for my daughter’s wedding. Haven’t found it yet, but with three seasons to go, maybe I will. I have gained a lot more respect and admiration for what a mother of the bride does in planning a Jewish wedding.

Maybe the father of the bride’s role is to watch from a distance, provide emotional support, wipe away occasional tears, be a source of calm, a steady hand on the rudder.

Time will tell. Meanwhile, I’m keeping a fire extinguisher near the checkbook. L’chaim.